We Have Color

I just realized Farmer Nacho and Farmer Margarita never gave me a farmer name and I'm kind of pissed about it. So I'm giving myself a farmer name: I would like to be known henceforward as Farmer Emperador Señor Dios del Universo, thankyouverymuch.

Farmer Emperador Señor Dios del Universo is pleased to report that over here on the North Forty, we have red tomato.

One. Red. Tomato.


I'm already planning the salsa I shall make out of him.

The pepper plants look much more bushy and plentiful than our tomatoes, but in the bloom and fruit department, they are lagging seriously behind. The angry infestation of aphids appear to be stunting their growth, but I think I see way down in there, the beginnings of a fruit to come to be. Or maybe just a pregnant aphid.

A hot mess

Remember the update from June 4?

A lot can happen in 20 days.

June 24:

Sowing my seeds

I grew about 200 seedlings too many and I had plenty to go around. I dumped them with anyone and everyone. My chiropractor provides me a weekly report on hers and asks hilarious questions like, "What's that purple thing I'm growing?" (Eggplant.)

Other updates have surfaced online - here and here. A little later in the growing season I will have to visit and see who ended up with what. There was a slight labeling mishap leaving everyone with a grab bag special.

The leaves of my plants seem to suggest I did manage to end up with a nice variety of tomatoes and peppers, I just don't know what. Fingers crossed for some Jamaican Hot Chocolate!

Random report

It was 99 degrees today. 99!!!! My tomatoes may soon cook themselves. I don't know what this heat does to tomatoes, but it can't be good.

Due to the heat all my gardening is done by the light of the moon, and I still come in drenched in sweat laced with potting soil. This update would be much improved with pictures, but no go at 10 pm.

I had to abort some peppers and tomatoes tonight. They were just growing terribly. Really this blog could be a what-not-to-do if nothing else. Let's just sum it up and say -
1. Drainage is important. Your plants can be too wet. Even when it's 99 degrees.
2. Miracle gro moisture control mix is totally worth it. I used some organic bullshit that smells like crap and holds onto water way too long.

My raised beds are so overgrown right now. I should've planted half that number of tomatoes in that space, but I just couldn't choose! I can't imagine what it's going to look like by August. I may lose a child in there. Or a dog. Which wouldn't be all bad.

My deck is also overflowing with pots of all shapes and sizes. I even moved a lot of things to the platform around my HVAC system. So little of our yard gets sun and I'm desperate for space! I know my neighbors just love the scenic view of our yard-o-buckets. But it's all cool, because I busted our HOA President for violating our neighborhood rules (which prohibit growing veggies in your front or side yard). If he comes for me, I'll just mention his squash situation.

I have one tomato that's orange. I am so eating it tomorrow, whether it's ready or not. I'm jealous of my farmer friends to the south who've had ripe veggies for weeks.

This concludes your stream of consciousness farm update.

Progress report, 1 month post transplant

I squeezed onions, garlic, 7 tomato plants and an eggplant into this tiny box.

Lots of pruning, staking and caging will be required. I'm guessing by the end of the summer the tomatoes will be 20 feet tall, or I will have given up and it will just be one giant mess of tomato plants.

The peppers are putting up a valiant fight against the aphids. It's been raining almost every day here and I swear they doubled in size in under 48 hours.

I still wish the 18,000 ladybugs I ordered 3 weeks ago would hurry up and get here!

(There's one other raised bed not shown, home to 9 more tomato plants.)

Fruit!!!!

June 1:


The potted plants are growing fastest - probably because they are in fresh 100% miracle grow potting soil. Mmmm, chemicals!

Pesto - it's not just for basil anymore

We had a bumper crop of cilantro this week. Most of it's in the flower bed in the front yard - my best guess is I reused some potting soil that grew last year's cilantro? The cilantro I was actually trying to grow isn't doing nearly as well. Further proof that more effort does not equal better results.

First I made pico de gallo, using store bought tomatoes (gasp) as mine are still blossoming. I did harvest an onion to add to my bushels of cilantro. Served it with bean and cheese taquitos.

I was still left with a TON of cilantro so I made a pesto of cilantro, walnuts, lemon juice, garlic, olive oil and salt. I stuffed a chicken breast with provolone, then coated it with the pesto. Pretty impressive concoction for a vegetarian, don't you think?

How does a 3 year old's garden grow?

My three year old decided to fertilize some of my seedlings. With toothpaste. As you can imagine, that didn't end well.

ETA: sooner than I thought

As of yesterday we have blossoms on one of the tomato plants!!! It's about 3 feet tall, growing in a pot on the deck. I'm leaving town for 3 weeks in July, but maybe there's hope I'll get a tomato or two before leaving town.

The raised bed filled with peppers is being devoured by bugs. I'm debating between horrific chemicals and ordering thousands of ladybugs. As a back up, I'm still growing peppers indoors (in the bathtub, of course). Once they get nice and big I may replace some of the ones in the garden.

Learn from my mistakes

Mistakes I made when putting my plants in the ground-

For the first four tomatoes, i didn't keep track of which varieties I put in! I should have just thrown them out and started over, but instead I'll just be surprised. And maybe have a lot of one type and none of several others.

I put them in the day before it poured rain for 24 hours straight. Some didn't survive the beating. Good thing I have 50 more understudies ready to fill in.

One week after planting, it got so cold at night that the next county over had a frost advisory! I always plant too early, which can stunt their growth. The seedling were just sooo huge though, and I was so anxious.

A lot of the plants are quite close together. I had a lot more varieties of peppers and tomatoes than I had space. I'm hoping with staking and/or cages, I can make the magic happen. I'm also planning to selectively reduce tomato plants if needed.

Stay tuned for more page turning (mouse scrolling?) stories of life on the farm.

Staff turnover

Farmer Nacho is leaving me. He's going to be summering in Southeast Asia, leaving me with a big sombero to fill.

My master plan definitely included having him around conme August to supervise our salsa production. Instead, he has only a few weeks to teach me how to properly hold a knife as well as can salsa.

I picture many lessons via Skpye in my future, as well as a severed finger or two and a nice case of Botulism.

Waiting

I'm resisting the urge to plant everything in the ground immediately. It's a predictable cycle -I always plant too early, plant growth gets stunted, husband says "I told you it was too early!" for the next 3 years.

Instead I have larger and larger specimins taking over my house. I've given away quite a few seedlings, yet it seems like I still have hundreds left (probably because I do).

So we wait. And wait. And wait.


Maybe I could just plant a couple and see what happens? Not like I don't have understudies waiting in the wings.

Now with more bling

My big box

I was loving this, until I figured out it will hold 5 tomato plants, max.


The green edging is supposed to be a beagle deterrent. We shall see. I wanted to buy some wire fencing, but after realizing I spent $100 on lumber plus another $120 on 40 bags of topsoil, manure and humus, I figured I had spent enough money for the day.

Now please pause for a moment to contemplate me hauling FORTY bags weighing 40 lbs each, to my backyard. Damn.

Admire my box

Before, 11 am:


After, 5 pm:



I have a car full of topsoil, humus and cow manure to add tomorrow.

Not pictured - giant new garden space I just put in around the corner.

Many thanks to NG and KoH for their assistance. Plus, KoH showed me how to use a circular saw and I am hooked! Guess what somebody's getting for Father's Day!

Grow house

My little seedlings are quickly outgrowing their bathtub incubator. It's a good thing it's going to be in the 70s - 80s the rest of the week. Time for some sun for all of us!

Until then, every 12 hours I rotate the plants. They spend half the day under growlights and the other half spread throught the house, wherever I can find a flat space. The lights run 24-7. So far no housefires.

I'm counting on a gorgeous weekend. I want to finally plow and build the raised beds. Otherwise I may just stiffle any common sense I have left and shell out mucho dinero on this slice of heaven I saw at Costco:



Must resist!

Suicide mission

Seems my peppers made a suicide pact. My beautiful little sprouts were sunning themselves when they threw themselves over the side of the deck. Some survived the fall, but many were decapitated. Their remains were thrown all about and now I don't know which are the Thai chili peppers and which are the bell peppers. I suppose I will just have to be surprised.

It's been in the high 70s here the last few days so I had everyone out in the sun during the day. I guess I'll just stick with the grow lights until they are all bigger and stronger.

I received the giant seed shipment last week and finally finished planting today. Some of the seeds I planted earlier are already ready for transplant, but I can't find peat pots anywhere. With all this warm weather the garden centers are wiped out.

My vision continues to take shape in my head. Unfortunately my dreams come together faster than my reality. (e.g. the tiller is still in the box it came in.) Good thing I started early.

A star is born

The first cherry tomato seed has sprouted! Four days. Hopefully his friends will feel some peer pressure and put an end to their laziness.

Honest, officer, it's for the tomatoes.

Why is my shower glowing?

Today we MacGyvered some grow lights with random parts from Home Depot and some pink twine I found in the garage.

Admit it, you're jealous.

I now have two showers that have been unused for years that are finally serving a purpose.

We also bought a tiller kind of like this one. I have a feeling once we fire that up, nothing is safe. We shall conquer the land!

Click happy

At least four times over the past few days I have fired up the Tomato Growers website and oogled the different seed varieties. Each time I fill my basket with goodies, then realize they don't take Amex. (It's the only credit card number I have memorized.) Getting up off the couch clearly wasn't an option, so I would just wait. Problem was, it never saved my cart. So each time something new caught my eye, and the grand total grew a little higher. Today I finally placed an order....$88!

Here's how I selected my seeds:

For tomatoes, I selected mostly stuff we can make into salsa. But then I would be mesmerized by the strange varieties and throw some of those in too. Their fancy marketing language would sucker me in to others. Other times the names were just funny. I think those will jump right out at you.

I always like to plant crazy stuff you won't find even at most farmers' markets. White eggplants. Purple jalapenos. Ivory cherry tomatoes. One year I was so excited to grow purple green beans. Imagine my disappointment when I cooked them and they all turned green. BLAST!

We do have some space limitations, so I generally pass on growing things you can buy cheap in the grocery store - e.g. carrots - or things that take up too much space like pumpkins. I like to focus on the weird stuff and the expensive stuff like tomatoes. And this year we're aiming to make a LOT of salsa, so that was taken into consideration as well.

If you're curious, here's what I ordered today:

#7492 - White Lightening Hybrid - 30 seeds.
#9716 - Santa Fe Grande - 30 seeds.
#9437 - Purple Jalapeno - 30 seeds.
#9543 - Mucho Nacho Hybrid - 30 seeds.
#9007 - Jamaican Hot Chocolate - 30 seeds.
#9022 - Bulgarian Carrot - 30 seeds.
#9030 - Ancho San Martin Hybrid - 30 seeds.
#9206 - Lilac Hybrid - 20 seeds.
#9352 - Bianca Hybrid - 20 seeds.
#4927 - Tumbling Tom Hybrid - 30 seeds.
#5362 - Sweet Pea Currant - 30 seeds.
#6334 - Patio F Hybrid - 30 seeds.
#6970 - Florida Basket - 30 seeds.
#3524 - Baxter's Early Bush Cherry - 30 seeds.
#6044 - Health Kick VFFA Hybrid - 30 seeds.
#3566 - Arkansas Traveler - 30 seeds.
#2912 - Crimson Fancy VFFA Hybrid - 30 seeds.
#2768 - Bush Champion VFFA Hybrid - 30 seeds.
#6701 - Cisineros Tomatillo - 30 seeds.
#6273 - Purple Tomatillo - 30 seeds.
#5678 - Powers Heirloom - 30 seeds.
#6822 - Snow White - 30 seeds.
#4701 - Orange Banana - 30 seeds.
#5833 - Kellogg's Breakfast - 30 seeds.
#5213 - Big Zebra - 30 seeds.
#4518 - Glacier - 30 seeds.
#5268 - Viva Italia VFFNA Hybrid - 30 seeds.
#5070 - Rocky - 30 seeds.
#5542 - Mama Leone - 30 seeds.
#6099 - Grandma Mary's Paste - 30 seeds.

I think I'm going to need to get some more seed starting kits!